


Hello! Thank you!

by Dagonet (TsukikoCurrier)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Gen, Humour, MST3K - Freeform, day in the life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 23:58:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6542068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsukikoCurrier/pseuds/Dagonet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Hello!' Merlin and Eggsy waved, the latter beckoning him closer.</p><p>'Hello!' Oh, great, Bors is in on it too. Was he the only one out of the loop?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello! Thank you!

          'Hello!' Eggsy is too loud and cheerful for this early in the morning.

          'Thank you!' Roxy replies, saluting him with the file, before leaving the office, a confused Harry and Merlin in her wake. 'Hello!' She says, precisely the way Eggsy had only moments before- Harry held the door open as she left, 'Thank you!' Again precisely the same.

          'Hello!' Eggsy is sat at his desk, barely looking up as the pair comes in, one far more confused than the other.   
  
          'Good morning- thought you'd appreciate tea since it's barely 9am. You're not usually one for mornings.' Eggsy accepted the cup from Harry gratefully, inhaling deeply with a slight smile on his face.  
  
          'Thank you!' The words themselves weren't unusual, but the inflection certainly was. Too cheery, it sounded like a telemarketing machine trying to gain your attention by pretending to be a real person. Harry was oddly disconcerted, looking to Merlin for answers- which, it seemed, he had.  
  
          'Hello!' Merlin greeted Eggsy the same way they'd been greeted, though he was smiling widely, was there a joke he wasn't getting? He passed the files he was holding to Eggsy, who in turn gave him a stack of reports from the corner of his desk. 'Thank you!'

          'You and Roxy had an entertaining evening, then?'

          'Yeah, Gamera versus Guiron. Can't believe she'd never seen it.'

          'It's not something that posh people spend time watching. Don't know why, funny is funny after all.'

          'Thought you was posh, bruv?'

          'No, just adjusted- known Harry since before then, you can ask him.'

          'Harry is right here, feeling incredibly left out.'

          'You ever make him watch it, then?'

          'Hello?'

          'Thank you!' They responded in unison, 'No; never got the opportunity back when it was actually playing, and I keep forgetting that they're all on youtube nowadays.' Merlin continued, as if Harry hadn't spoken.

          'We gotta fix that, guv.'

          'Still right here.'

          'Hey, guys, what's the party in Galahad's room about?' Bors swaggered in in that way only he could, a wide grin on his face.

          'Hello!' Merlin and Eggsy waved, the latter beckoning him closer.

          'Hello!' Oh, great, Bors is in on it too. Was he the _only_  one out of the loop?

          'Oh, good, he gets it. Yeah, that's all tha's happening here. Arthur doesn' get it.'

          'Well then. Should fix that.'

          'Why is it that I'm suddenly invisible?'

          'You could never be invisible to me, love- but we really gotta fix this if you're the only one not in the know. It’s _essential_.'  
  
          'I can round up the others and scrounge up an ungodly amount of pillows?' Bors offers, looking far too excited over whatever is going to occur.

          'Thank you! I'll get the popcorn and shit. Merlin, think you-'

          'Already done, lad.'

          'Perfect.'

          ‘Is no one going to ask _me_? I’m only your boss.’

          ‘No. Now shove off while we prepare everything.’ Merlin doesn’t meet his eye, face in his clipboard as he leaves Eggsy’s office.

          Harry seemed to be one of maybe three people who didn't understand what was going on, the small cluster of them hovering awkwardly in a corner as Bors and Kay constructed what had to be the largest pillow fort he had ever seen.  
  
          'Is this entirely necessary?'  
  
          'Arthur, there's only one way to experience MST3K and we're gonna make sure you get it.'  
  
          What ends up being called 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' is probably the oddest show Harry has ever been exposed to. It's a simple enough concept, made entertaining only through the commentary- half of which he's sure Eggsy and Roxy don't understand without further research. The film within the show is poorly dubbed and of lesser quality- but he finds himself enchanted nonetheless.  
  
          'Hello, Elsa!'  
  
          'Hello, Inga!' The gumball machine apparently named Tom Servo replied.  
  
          'Hello! Thank you! Thank you, for keeping him- thank you!'  
  
          'Hello!' Ah. The commentators (a man named Joel and a golden robot named Crow) join the gumball machine in interrupting the film's dialogue.  
  
          He laughs so hard his chest hurts, Lamorak and the tech he did not recognise are in much the same state beside him, all the while Eggsy's hand resting in his hair from his place in the chair Harry was leaning back on. The film finally ends, the YouTube reccommended screen popping up, sparking movement from the others. Like a cinema's film ending, except everyone's carrying a few pillows and such and chatting amongst themselves.  
  
          'So, Haz, what'd you think?'  
  
          'It was charming.' Eggsy looks at him sceptically, one eyebrow raised, and Harry has his mouth open to elaborate when Merlin walks up.  
  
          'That's Harry for brilliant, Eggsy- don't feel discouraged. If nothing else we can pull up Gamera versus Gaos on another night to convince him.'  
  
          'I dunno, I'm more of a Mitchell guy.'  
  
          'Wait, they made _more_  of those Gamera films?' Harry gapes, nearly offended at the world for allowing such a thing to happen, which caused Merlin and Eggsy to chuckle with sidelong glances at each other.  
  
          'Oh, Harry, you dunno the half of it. I don't even know how many of them were made- but MST3K did _five_ '

**Author's Note:**

> No, I have no real reason for writing this, but the mental image would not leave me head. So. here it is.
> 
> The show is something I, personally, consider an essential thing to have a working knowledge of among my friends. [This is the bit that everyone is doing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDvCMFExdfE)
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr at [AgentDagonet](http://www.agentdagonet.tumblr.com)


End file.
